Skinny Jeans Out, Fat Jeans In

Published in The Neapolitan Online

Colorful leaves, cool breezes, cute sneezes—all signs that autumn is upon us. And as we welcome candied yams and Christmas hams, we must say goodbye to our tanned gams. It is, after all, jean season. But don’t pull out last year’s skinny jeans without checking the runways because times, they are a changin’. That’s right, there’s a new jean in town: The Fat Jean. It’s a denim trend that demands you go big or go home, or make your jeans your home. They should be that big.

Not to be confused with that reviled piece of DNA, The Fat Jean is actually quite slimming and will never look too tight. It’s already all the rage on the runways of Paris and Milan. Don’t be intimidated. To help, we’ve included a few styling tips for this new trend below. After all, this is definitely a look you’ll want to try on for size—plus size!


Belted:
Show everyone you’re living the life of luxury with all this extra denim bunched up. Belting at the natural waist is recommended for making your hourglass figure pop and your jeans less likely to fall down at the worst possible moment.

Suspendered:
Too long has this flashy fashion accessory been relegated to lesbians, nerds and Mork. Take back the suspenders! You’ll look waiflike and still have room to hide shopping bags, contraband or small children.

Cuffed:
Ever feel like cuffing your skinny jeans made them bottom heavy? Not true with fat jeans. Roll these up and down! Cuff the legs and roll the waist until it’s bunchy enough to stay put.
Bonus: Denim love handles! (…that come off when you want to be handled.)

The Trunk Look:
The “stick” look is out, as evidenced by the Internet breaking over Kim Kardashian’s bootyliciousness; so you won’t want to be wearing tight-ass—well, anything. Pair your fat jeans with a wide, shoulder-padded top so that everything draping off of you has an equal circumference. You’ll know you’re doing it right when forest birds try to make a home in your pocket (a perfect time to don the classic Nest Purse as an accessory!).

S.O.S.:
Remember when you used to try on mom’s high heels? This is just like that, if her heels were made from small rowboats (Style note: Strappy rowboats pair great with this look!). If you want to be swimming in compliments this season, you should be swimming in your jeans. So it seems only fitting that you should roll the waistband of your jeans around a life preserver and wear the life preserver’s rope around your neck like a halter that also holds up your pants. What a save!

All-In-One Leg:
Nothing says “I’m comfortable being single” like walking around in one roomy leg of a pair of jeans. And having an open leg says, “I’ve still got room for you, handsome.” Married? Simply slit the second leg down the side for a sexy double side ruffle.

Train With No Caboose:
A fun twist on the All-In-One Leg, turn your jeans upside down before stepping into your chosen leg. Belt at the waist for a strapless hourglass look, or shorten your suspenders for some classic Linguini Straps, and enjoy the elegance of having your second pant leg act as a train. You’re sure to feel like a reverse bride: You’ll be wearing blue and creating a little something white—a clean floor—everywhere you go.


Find your perfect fit - fat jean size!

FIND YOUR PERFECT FIT – FAT JEAN SIZE!

Now that you’re ready to rock the look, one last word of advice: Don’t go pulling out those jeans from when you gained the Freshman Fifteen or had that “oops” baby. Something you wore when you were fifteen to thirty pounds heavier is not a true fat jean, just a sad piece of memorabilia.

See our accompanying chart to find out what size Fat Jean fits your figure best. And check out the websites of our favorite jean brands—J Grand, Seven Tons and Citizens of Humongousity—all offer Fat Jeans at double the price of regular jeans, even though they use more than twice the fabric. A steal at only $500!

 

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